


if you ever wanna be in love; i'll come around

by libellules



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M, just some wholesome justlex fluff, just two sweet boys trying their best, they are both so in love its ridiculous, very soft boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libellules/pseuds/libellules
Summary: He asked hesitantly “what happened last night?” His last memory was sitting on the couch with Zach and Scott and some random girl that Scott was into playing a drinking game. There were flashes of trap music, clouds of weed, and… Alex’s dimples dancing around his mind. He couldn’t put all the pieces together, couldn’t understand if what he thought happened actuallyhappened. “Did we…?”“Yeah, we did,” Alex said so smoothly it was as if the words were gliding off his tongue like a rushing stream off the edge of rocks, a waterfall. It sounded natural when he said it. It didn’t sound wrong like it did in the back of Justin’s head.or the one where Justin and Alex have drunken sex and have to deal with repercussions.





	if you ever wanna be in love; i'll come around

Waking up alone; it was the cold chill of the morning breeze stroking dusty arms, legs sprawled and hand clutching blankets –it was the loneliness of waking up from a dreamt embrace to an empty space. And yet, even lying beside someone, Justin still felt so alone. 

“Good morning,” came the musty whisper, Alex’s dimples daring to peak through dusk’s tender glow. Justin wasn’t sure what to say, what to do really. They were close enough feel the rise and fall of each other’s chest and the pressure of a sinking mattress, but they didn’t touch. There was a fratured space between them, fingers so close he could feel the slight twitch of Alex’s fingers, brave enough to steer closer and closer to Justin’s own. Almost giving in to Alex’s gravity, but then not, Justin rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling as if it would hold all the answers. 

He asked hesitantly “what happened last night?” His last memory was sitting on the couch with Zach and Scott and some random girl that Scott was into playing a drinking game. There with flashes of trap music, clouds of weed, and… Alex’s dimples dancing around mind. He couldn’t put all the pieces together, couldn’t understand if what he thought happened actually _happened_. “Did we…?”

“Yeah, we did,” Alex said so smoothly it was as if the words were gliding off his tongue like a rushing stream off the edge of rocks, a waterfall. It sounded natural when he said it. It didn’t sound wrong like it did in the back of Justin’s head. 

“Oh,” was all he could think to say next. Really though, what could he say? Justin wasn’t gay, he wasn’t looking for a relationship with Alex. He loved his friendship with Alex, even though they more often than not were teasing each other, Alex was always there when he needed him. Even more so than Justin; Justin knew he was selfish that way. 

“I’m not…” _gay?_ Could he really say that after what they just did? Would Alex feel judged? “This didn’t…” _mean anything?_ If he’s really not gay then why would he have chosen to have meaningless sex with a guy, and with one of his best friends? “This was a mistake.” Why he chose to say that, Justin didn’t know. He regretted it as soon as he said it while Alex tensed, sitting up. 

“Yeah,” Alex said, the softness and calm of his voice just moments ago was gone. He was lying, it was obvious. Justin couldn’t tell if he was lying too or not. 

“I should go,” he said after a moment of awkward quiet. Their backs were turned, but he could feel Alex’s glare and hated himself so much for it, a feeling that felt much more familiar and deserving than the softness of waking up. Justin stood up, grabbing his clothes from the floor and getting dressed as quickly as he could. 

Justin made it to the door before realizing he should probably tell Alex that this needed to be kept a secret. “Hey, Alex?” 

“I won’t tell anybody, don’t freak out,” Alex said, the usual tone of sarcasm in his voice that somehow told Justin that Alex wasn’t as mad as he anticipated, that he didn’t hate Justin now. In a way –a fucked up way—, Alex was almost telling Justin he cared about him. 

The whole situation was so typical, Justin almost laughed; of course it would be Justin to fuck up a good moment, to hurt Alex just to have Alex take care of him. His mouth tasted sour now, his back hurting under the heaviness of his shoulders, under the guilt they carried. Justin wanted to say something nice, something he would usually say to Alex, something to make this moment less awkward, something to tell Alex he cared about him. He didn’t say anything and he left before Alex could give him any more kindness, before Justin would hate himself even more. 

Justin slid his phone out of his pocket to text Clay to come pick him up when he saw all the missed calls and unopened messages from Lainie, Matt, and Clay. 

_Do you need a ride home? Clay got a ride with Tony, but we can come pick you up. LMK._ sent at 10:24 pm

 _Justin, call me ASAP. We need to know where you are._ sent at 10:48 pm

 _If you had too much to drink we aren’t going to be angry with you, just let us know you’re okay._ sent at 10:53 pm

 _where the fuck r u???? mom and dad r rly worried!!_ sent at 11:13

There were even more but Justin didn’t want to look at them, didn’t want to see how he had probably ruined Lainie and Matt’s date night by never coming home. What could say? He’s used to never texting home and he had been drunk, pretty high too; it wasn’t the first time he had woken up in someone’s bed the morning after a party. He was even angrier at himself. He dialed Clay’s number as he walked quietly down the steps and out the front door, happy to see neither of Alex’s parents downstairs yet. 

“Justin, what the hell! You okay?” Clay’s phone asked quickly into the phone, Justin thought for a moment unsure of his lie. 

“Sorry, I was drunk and I stayed with Alex.” It wasn’t a lie, exactly. It was enough for Clay. 

“Just get home, okay? Mom and Dad were almost ready to put out a missing person’s report.” 

“Jesus. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Just come quickly. I’ll let them know you’re okay.” 

“Thanks, Clay.” 

“Yeah, you owe me now,” Clay teased and Justin was happy to hear the chuckle at the end, he wasn’t mad. 

“Think you could pick me up?” 

“Seriously? You can’t take a bus?” Clay asked as if he had some busy Saturday morning plans that he simply couldn’t miss. 

“I don’t have any money. Please?” It truly was his only option; it’s not like he could go back inside and ask Alex to give him a ride home. 

“Fine, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” 

“Thank you.” Clay hung up first and Justin sat on the curb, covered from sight in the house by a thick oak tree. He pulled his knees against his chest to keep his feet out of the street and let his head rest in his knees. He was exhausted, too exhausted to start coming up with the way he would explain this to Matt and Lainie so they wouldn’t hate him, so that they wouldn’t stop trusting him. There really wasn’t a way, he figured he would stick with the slight lie he told Clay and just hope they would live up to their text. 

He waited for Clay, who was seven additional minutes, but Justin would forgive him for that. It was a cold morning, but California was never cold enough that Justin had to worry about hypothermia or frostbite. He just had some manageable goosebumps. When Clay’s car pulled up to the house he jumped up, desperate to feel the warmth of the Prius’ heater. 

“Hey,” Clay greeted, a bit of a smirk on his face making Justin’s stomach uneasy. 

“Thanks for coming to get me.” 

“Don’t mention it.” Justin shut the door and Clay pulled away from the house. Justin didn’t let himself look up at Alex’s window, he wouldn’t let his mind wander like that. “Fun night?” 

“Shut up,” Justin scolded but Clay laughed quietly. 

“I don’t know, you were having a really good time when I left Scott’s.” The smirk was still there and just convinced himself Clay just thought he was a wild drunk as opposed to Clay actually knowing what happened last night. 

“Well, so were you!” he argued, but Clay just rolled his eyes, turning the wheel effortlessly. 

“How much did you have to drink? You don’t look that hungover but I would’ve sworn you were close to blacking out last night,” Clay commented, further convincing Justin that he was just paranoid and this was an innocent conversation. 

“I wasn’t that drunk, I was pretty high though.” 

“Justin, fuck. You shouldn’t be getting high,” Clay practically barked, it was Justin’s turn to roll his eyes. 

“It was just weed,” Justin defended, fiddling with the air vents. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Justin didn’t bother responding, he had ruined the care-free atmosphere yet again. Clay turned on the radio and Justin watched the houses pass outside the window. Keeping his mind focused on listening to the lyrics of whatever Top 40’s song was singing from the speakers, Justin refused to let himself think about last night –about Alex. This wasn’t the time to contemplate his sexuality, if that’s even what he was doing by thinking about Alex; by thinking about the way they woke up next to each other totally naked, totally exposed. Justin wondered what he said, what he told Alex, what Alex had told him, what _it_ had been like. Had he enjoyed it? Had Alex? Did it actually mean anything? 

“Okay, stop pouting. I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Clay said suddenly, pulling Justin out of his own head. “I just don’t want you relapsing, again.” Clay smiled at him for a second before turning his focus back onto the road. 

“Sorry,” he finally said, wishing to be anyone but himself. He imagined who he might have become if the Jensens adopted him as a baby. Maybe then he would’ve become a person he actually likes, is proud of. Instead, he found himself loathing every fiber of his being, feeling the same as he did every minute of every day. _A fuck up,_ Seth had labeled him so perfectly. They didn’t speak for the rest of the ride, not until they got home and were confronted with very relieved parents. 

Justin let Lainie draw him into a tight hug, whispering into his ear that he could never do that again, that it worried her too much. Once it was clear he had never been in any harm, they took his phone and sent him upstairs to get started on this homework. He mumbled the apologies they wanted to hear, eventually escaping all of the love and support to the privacy of his bedroom. He wondered if Alex had texted him, if they would ever speak again. Justin found himself missing Alex already, and that terrified him.

* * *

Alex sat on the edge of the bed, staring out the window watching as Justin hurried into Clay’s car as if it were a bomb shelter and Alex the war. He wasn’t sure what he had expected to happen when they woke up. They had both been pretty out of it the night before, but Justin much more so than Alex. Alex couldn’t tell if Justin remembered any of the night or the party, clearly not the sex. 

If he hadn’t been so intoxicated, Alex would’ve known better to sleep with a drunken Justin Foley. Alex didn’t want to be the asshole who took advantage of someone, and yet here he was. It was the way Justin had tugged them down onto the bed, grinning ear to ear and holding Alex’s collar, body pressing together. 

_”Kiss me.” And so Alex did and once he started he couldn’t stop. Justin’s lips were so much softer than Alex expected they would be, but still so firm against his own. It was so different than kissing girls._

_And slowly, it became more than kissing; it became the tossing to the side of clothes and touching in places Alex never realized he craved to be touched. They had never turned on the lights, but the glow of streetlights through the blinds painted the most beautiful shadows across Justin’s body. The way he melted against Alex’s fingers sent shivers down Alex’s spine. It was everything._

_“I want you.”_

All of the beauty of those moments, everything that Alex had cherished as it escalated, he now hated. He hated that he did that to Justin, that he didn’t stop when he knew how gone Justin was. He fell asleep immediately afterward, fingers still latched onto Alex’s shirt, head tucked into the corner of Alex’s shoulders. He looked so calm, so happy. 

Alex felt like shit, felt confused and regretful and curious. Justin had been clear when he told Alex it was a mistake, but that’s not what Justin had said the night before, there was no regret in the way Justin called Alex name. Was that the real Justin though, or was it just the beer, the pot? Alex knew, desperately knew, he needed to talk to someone about this. 

He couldn’t talk to Jess –god that would be the absolute worst person to talk to this about—, and he probably couldn’t talk to Zach without betraying Justin. Alex thought hard for a moment before finally deciding he had no choice other than to talk to….his mom. As painful as it was the only person who wouldn’t somehow get the news back to Justin or release rumors through the school was the same person who would force him to listen to a two-hour lecture on safe gay sex through various medical books and diagrams. He knew she would go all out the way she did during their first ‘talk.’ As a nurse, she felt more than qualified to humiliate him in the most loving way possible. 

“Mom?” he asked as he entered her room. She was in the process of putting on her jewelry when Alex walked into the room, he approached her back, taking the necklace from her hands and hooking it in the back for her. 

“My sweet boy,” she hummed, turning to face him. She was such a beautiful woman, Alex thought. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” he declared. Her eyes widened but she waited for him to proceed. “You can’t say anything to Dad yet.” 

“Cross my heart,” she swore, putting her palm against her chest as if the action itself would convince Alex to spill his soul to her. Granted, it worked. 

“I’ll start out by saying,” he pondered his word choice here, “I’m not straight but I’m not gay. I’m still figuring it out.” Her breath hitched but she bit her lip, holding in her questions so Alex could continue. He was a bit shocked with how easily the words had rolled off his tongue, and how comfortable he now felt telling her he not only enjoyed the buzz of alcohol but gay sex as well. “I hooked up with someone recently and,” again a pause for thought, “and I think that he isn’t ready to talk about it or to talk to me about it. I don’t know what to do.” 

“Okay, slow down. Let me understand this,” she said, straightening her back as Alex got comfortable seating on the edge of her bed. “So, this boy? Is he a friend or someone you don’t know?” 

“A friend,” Alex admitted. His mom nodded. 

“Okay. That’s good. Is he gay? Or I mean, not straight. He would be bi or pan, I don’t really know-,”

Alex interrupted her, god he loved her, “It’s okay, Mom. No, he says he’s straight but I think he’s just in the closet.”

“Oh, okay. Is this something that you want to become a relationship?” 

“I don’t even know, really. I mean, I guess it would be nice but mostly I just don’t want us to stop being friends.” His mom gave him a sad smile, the kind that meant she was proud of him. He flushed, suddenly embarrassed by the nature of this conversation. 

“Is that something he wants too?” she asked. 

“He said it was a mistake.” Her lips formed an ‘o’ and she put a tender hand on his knee. 

“I think you should talk to him. You need to tell him exactly how you feel, remind him that you want to be friends no matter what,” she advised, same sad smile on her face. 

“What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?” 

“Baby, I can’t give you all the answers. But telling the truth will always be the right thing to do, even when it’s hard or scary. I can promise you that.” She kissed the top of his forehead. “Thank you for telling me, but don’t think we’re not going to talk more about healthy, safe, sex later.” He laughed, nothing had changed between them and he adored her for that.

* * *

Justin hadn’t heard anything about Alex all weekend from Clay. He figured if Alex had decided to tell the whole school eventually the rumor would’ve gotten around to Clay. But he hadn’t heard anything and it somehow made the drive to school Monday morning even scarier. Justin wondered if Zach knew, he was Alex’s best friend he was bound to know. Justin fiddled with the end of his sweatshirt sleeves, the thick and oversized material protecting him like armor. Clay pulled up at the school and he was forced to leave the comfortable bubble of the Prius and make his way into the school where he might see Alex’s face around any corner, in any crowd. 

Sure enough, Alex was standing by Zach’s locker, laughing about something when Justin approached –his own locker adjacent Zach’s. 

“Hey Justin, you have fun at Scott’s party?” Zach teased, Justin instantly wanted to slam his locker shut and run as fast as his legs could carry him off the campus. Instead, he just blushed and turned to look Zach in the eyes. “You’re all over snapchat.” 

“I wouldn’t know. Matt and Lainie took my phone away,” Justin said, sending his message more towards Alex in case he had tried to text him and thought Justin was ignoring him. He wasn’t, ignoring him that was. 

“Well, you missed some pretty funny shit,” Zach laughed, taking one last book and placing it under his shoulder, swinging the metal door closed. 

“Do you remember anything from Friday night?” Alex asked, joining the conversation, eyes viciously clever. Justin knew instantly he hadn’t told Zach, that he was enjoyed the way Justin worried he had. It was a sign that Alex truly wasn’t mad at him. A mad Alex would never be this playful. Justin shook his head. 

“Stop, it’s not funny,” he pleaded, Zach still laughing and Alex with a smirk plastered across his face. “What did I do?” 

“Ask Alex, he was with you all night.” _All night._ Did that mean Zach knew? Justin took a breath, he just meant during the party. 

“It wasn’t that bad, you’re just a very… adventurous drunk,” Alex explained, the seriousness returning to his face. “Stupid party tricks and stuff like that.” Zach clapped a hand on his back before announcing he needed to get to class early to work on a group project, leaving Justin and Alex alone together. 

“You okay?” asked Alex, sliding closer to Justin. He still expected to hear the click of a cane whenever Alex moved, but he had stopped needing it the first month of senior year, now he was walking like a pro. He had told Justin all he wanted was to walk at graduation without the cane, but as it turned out he got to walk on his own more the majority of the school year. 

“Are we?” Justin asked, concerned by his paranoia and his hyper-analysis of everything Alex said and did. He didn’t want to lose Alex, he couldn’t. Besides Clay, Alex was his closest friend. He was one of the few people Justin didn’t put up a front with, he could relax and just be himself. Perhaps sometimes revealing too much of himself. 

“We’re okay, Jus.” Alex smiled at him, dimples out, something that he rarely allowed others to see. Justin sometimes felt like those dimples were reserved just for him. 

“I’m sorry,” Justin said softly, eyes averted, “about what I said. I didn’t, uh, mean it.” His lids fluttered, eyes lifting to meet Alex’s. Alex looked a bit taken aback, a bit optimistic. 

“What did you mean?” was all Alex asked. He waited patiently for Justin to work up the courage to respond. Justin shrugged, still unsure of his feelings, of anything. 

“Well, I guess I should tell you,” Justin’s eyes met Alex’s, “that if you want this, I’m here. But if you don’t, I can’t lose you. I need you to keep being my friend.” It was Justin’s turn to feel taken aback. Alex was so direct, always so blunt and honest; Justin had always been impressed by that. Justin wasn’t an honest person, in the open way that kids from happy homes were. Not that Alex’s childhood had been easy when his dad was so hard on him. But he was guarded in a way most people never needed to be. Part of his secrecy was protection. And yet, standing in front of Alex’s sweet eyes, he had never felt more vulnerable. Not even when he was laying naked beside Alex, even then he had a coat of bitter lies to keep him safe. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to decide anything now. Just know that I’m like here for you, okay?” Alex looked like he wanted to kiss him, but instead, he smiled –dimples and all— and turned to head off to first period. 

Justin watched as he walked away, never looking back at Justin. It was a new thing, this confidence that Alex carried. It attracted Justin to Alex, made Justin want to be close to him. It had been the same pattern his whole life, first Bryce then all the pretty girls, the sports teams. Deep down, the part of him that was still a scared little kid craved the understanding of self-esteem, desperate to feel content with himself like the people around him did. 

There had been a long period of time where Alex had been so insecure, first from his depression and then his injury. It’s when they had gotten really close, when they really understood each other. But now it felt like Alex had begun to outgrow him. Alex hadn’t panicked at all when they woke up together, when Justin had called it a mistake, when Justin couldn’t figure any of it out. Alex was so much stronger now, so in control of himself. It made Justin’s heart beat faster than he would’ve liked to admit and he let that adrenaline guide him to his first class. 

He found it hard to concentrate all day, each period his mind flooded with different scenarios. What if he actually wanted to be in a relationship with Alex? Would he be happy? Would everyone suddenly see through him like glass? Would they judge him? Would Matt, Lainie, and Clay still want him? What happened if Justin fucked it up like he had with every other relationship? What if all of the pain was for nothing?

Then again, what if they just stayed friends? Would it be awkward? Would Alex eventually stop caring like Bryce had, like Zach had? Would Justin be alone, truly alone? Either way, it seemed like he would wind up unhappy. In the second scenario, though, he would still have the Jensens. But it felt wrong to think of the second situation with the image of Alex’s dimples still hanging over his mind. 

As much as he didn’t want it to be true, Justin felt a tug in his heart whenever he was around Alex. For a while he assumed it was just a friendly pull like how most people become friends –oh I like him, we’ll be good friends. But then Justin had stayed over at Alex’s house and Alex had been so gentle in a way nobody ever had with Justin. They started spending more time together, just the two of them, after that. Justin had always wanted to be close to Alex, but told himself it was only because Alex gave him a place to live. It wasn’t the way Alex would smile or laugh or point out all the flaws in a movie while they were watching it, talking over the entire film. Or maybe it was all of it? Maybe he cared about Alex in more than just a friendly way. 

It wasn’t something he had ever felt for a guy before and he had no idea how to put words to it, how to even understand what he was feeling. What if he misinterpreted his feelings, came out, lost all of his friends, and then wasn’t actually gay? He unlocked his phone –which he had finally gotten back from Matt and Lainie— and googled _how to tell if you are gay_. The results were weird and philosophical, some too graphic. He shut his phone after a few minutes, having gotten nowhere. 

There was really only one way to tell if he actually had feelings for Alex. He texted him: 

_hey can we talk?_ It only took Alex a few minutes to respond. 

_i’m in study hall now, what’s up?_ Justin didn’t want that though –to text—, he wanted to see Alex; to reach out and see what it felt like to hold his hand. 

_in person?_

_wanna meet after school?_

_yeah. monet’s at 3?_

_it’s a date._ A date. It sounded right, sounded good. He wasn’t sure if Alex was actually serious or just being the smartass that he often was, either way, Justin would take it. 

Justin anxiously waited through the rest of his classes. Alex was in his Spanish class but they had a test today, so they never spoke, never looked at each other. At least, Justin didn’t look up at Alex –he couldn’t, not in a room full of crowded judgmental teenagers. He hurried out of the class as soon as the bell rang, avoided Alex’s sweet gaze like the plague. 

Finally, it seemed as if hours had passed, the last bell rang and Justin found Clay and headed out to the student parking lot. He told Clay to drop him off at Monet’s on the way home. When Clay started asking questions Justin told him he had a group project to work on, stealing Zach’s excuse from the morning. Clay believed him and dropped him off accordingly. 

Monet’s wasn’t very crowded, which Justin was thankful for. He found a table tucked in the back corner and waited for Alex’s smooth brown hair to float through the door in confident strides. He waited for only a few minutes, but they each felt so eternally long. And then Alex walked in and Justin had to awkward wave his hand up so Alex could see where he was sitting. Alex set his backpack down on the chair, grabbing his wallet. 

“Want anything?”

“Uh, that’s okay. I’m good.” 

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” said Alex, heading over to the counter where he seemed to laugh at something Skye, the barista, said. Justin recognized her from school and from a few photographs in Clay’s room. He had never asked Clay about them; ex-girlfriends were a touchy subject with his brother. Alex returned moments later with a mug of black coffee and took a seat across from Justin, who was now anxiously fidgeting with anything within grasp, terrified. 

“What’s up?” Alex asked as if he didn’t know exactly why Justin had invited him there. Justin gave him a look, Alex’s lip tugged upwards slightly and he wrapped his fingers around the mug’s handle, blew, and took a small sip. 

“How did it happen?” Alex head tilted a little to the side, reminding Justin of a puppy dog. He smiled and then started to explain. 

“You were pretty drunk, a little high, and I’d had a lot to drink. You started to seem upset and you said you wanted to leave so I offered to come back to my house to sober up since my parents were out late.” Justin listened carefully, trying to align the bits and pieces of his memory from that night; so far it seemed to align well, seemed to make some sense. “When we got to my house we were both acting, well, affectionate,” Alex blushed, “and then we kissed and we just…didn’t stop.” 

Justin nodded, found himself blushing too. It sounded harmless, sounded natural. But when he pictured telling Clay about it, having people at school know about it, he was terrified again. 

“Did I, um…” he wasn’t sure how to phrase this next bit, but he knew he needed to ask. “Did we use a condom?” In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if he even had a condom on him, if he was the one who had needed it or if it had been Alex. Alex’s cheeks went truly red for the first time that Justin had ever seen, he looked softer that way. 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I didn’t give you an STD.” Justin laughed slightly, he was starting to feel a little bit less tense, the comfortability that he always felt around Alex gradually returning. 

“What did you think of it?” Justin suddenly wondered, asking before he could decide if he wanted to know the answer or not. 

“I liked it. I like _you_ , Justin.” There was that blatant honesty. Alex’s eyes were staring directly into Justin’s as if he could see as far as Justin’s soul, as if the mere act of looking into each other’s eyes would allow them to be as close as they were a few nights ago. 

“Is this like a one-time thing for you?”

“It can be,” Alex admitted, “if that’s what you want. But, if you want, I’d like it to be more than that.” 

“More than a mistake?” 

“More than a mistake.” Alex looked sure of himself, he looked confident in his sexuality and it was like pure electricity, it lit up something in Justin, some courage buried deep inside of him. 

He swallowed, took a deep breath, and spoke, “Okay.” 

“Okay…yes?” Justin nodded, smiling, gaze fixated on Alex’s dimples, on the way his hands softly held the mug. 

“So, is this like our first date?” Justin asked. 

“No. Our first date is gonna be something corny like a spaghetti dinner or a black and white silent movie,” Alex explained, right hands resting on the table with the left lifted the mug to meet his lips. 

“Do you think we could go someplace, I don’t know, private?” asked Justin. “I’m not sure if I’m ready to be like… _out_ yet.” 

“We can do whatever you want to do,” Alex hummed, fingers crawling towards Justin’s hand, bony fingers preoccupied with his sleeves. Alex pried them off tenderly and held Justin’s hand in his own, thumb grazing over Justin’s tanned skin. Justin’s nerves trembled through his veins and he felt scared but with a sense of excitement that felt like adrenaline. He looked around at the people sitting at the tables near them, nobody seemed to notice or care that Alex was holding his hand. He still kept the doorway in his peripherals, still on edge.

Alex noticed and, much to Justin’s dismay –and relief—, he pulled his hand away, resting it back on the mug. Justin’s stomach hurt at the action, wished he was brave enough to interlock their fingers, to kiss Alex’s lips. But he was still scared, still unsure if he was doing the right things. He watched Alex, waiting for him to say something, desperate to follow his lead. 

“Do you want to come over to my house Friday night? It’s date night so my parents will be out,” Alex suggested. Justin wondered for a short moment if Alex was implying they would have sex again or if he was just telling Justin he didn’t need to worry about an audience. 

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he finally said, hoping Alex had meant the latter. 

“I can make dinner. You know I’m actually quite the cook?” Justin laughed, Alex was the worst cook in the entire world –no exaggeration. Alex smiled at him with such a warmth it felt a little like he was looking into the sun, exhilarating and dangerous and he found his eyes darting down at his lap before Alex’s sweetness blinded him. 

Justin felt unsure of how to respond, what to say to Alex at all. He was used to their banter, teasing; it had always come easily. But now Alex was being sweet with him and he wasn’t sure if he was capable of being that sweet, of being brave enough to tell Alex how beautiful he was or how he hoped all of Alex’s days were happy days. It had never been like this with girls, he had always known exactly what to say. Alex was so different; he couldn’t just tell Alex he wasn’t like most girls and drunkenly make out with him at a party. Alex knew him, knew all the dark and scary parts of Justin that only a handful of people knew. Alex would expect more from Justin than just pick up lines. Maybe that’s why Alex kept taking the reins, kept steering the conversation this way and that as Justin softly laughed or gave short sentenced responses. Justin felt guilty about his lack of coherent thoughts but Alex was making him so nervous and almost _shy_ that he couldn’t even articulate a true reply. 

After a while Alex said, “Listen, I should probably get home. My mom is so strict with these family dinners and if I’m even five minutes late she’ll literally freak.” Justin glanced at his phone, how had it been three hours since they had sat down? He had been lost in his thoughts for most of the conversation, lost in Alex’s beauty, but still –the time had gone so quickly. 

“Do you need a ride home?” Alex asked, twirling his keys around his thumb. 

“Yeah, thanks.” They collected their bags and Justin followed Alex out to his car. Justin wondered if he should open the door for Alex like he had with Jess, but they each opened their doors on their own. Alex plugged the aux cord into his phone and then started a playlist before shoving the key into the ignition. A soft indie song poured out of the speakers and Justin teased Alex –as he was always preaching that heavy rock was the only good music left in the world. The song was more cheerful than anything Justin had expected Alex to listen to. When the song reached the chorus, it had more of a rock vibe and Justin watched happily as Alex’s fingers tapped the wheel to the rhythms and his feet against the floor of the car. They drove content in their silence listen to Alex’s playlist until Alex pulled into the Jensen’s driveway. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Justin –yet to unbuckle his seatbelt, desperate to stay in this moment with Alex so close to him, so happy. He let his hand rest on the console, Alex’s fingers sliding between his own, holding him. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alex hummed, leaving toward Justin. He closed his eyes, waiting for Alex’s lips to graze; to finally feel his kiss sober. But Alex’s lips pressed against Justin’s cheek and then he let Justin’s hand go, sinking back into his seat. Justin shyly gave Alex one last look before exiting the car, watching from the front step as Alex pulled out of the driveway and drove off, not ready to go back inside and face reality. 

He wondered how he ever had been confused about whether he liked Alex or not. Of course he liked Alex. Alex was amazing, he was kind and patient and gentle and so completely himself. Justin was genuinely surprised he hadn’t realized much sooner how much he cared about Alex, how he had slowly become more than just a friend. Justin went into the house. 

“Hey, honey. Dinner’s in about ten minutes,” Lainie greeted him from the couch in the living room where she and Clay were watching a game show. 

Clay looked up at him and immediately asked, “Were you just on a date?” 

“What?” 

“You’re blushing like you just had your first kiss,” Clay teased. Lainie playfully swatted his knee with a pillow. 

“Leave him alone,” she scolded. “Come sit with us,” she offered, patting the empty space between them on the couch. Trying his best to get his composure back so Clay would leave it alone, he made his way to the couch, plopping down between them, throwing his feet onto the coffee table. Lainie’s arm was draped over the cushions behind him and her eyes followed as the tint of his cheeks grew and lessened as he focused on hiding his happy blush. 

“Where’ve you been?” she asked. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was supposed to text you,” Justin apologized, suddenly feeling guilty. 

“It’s okay, Justin told me you had a group project to work on,” she explained. “What class was it for?” 

“Um, pre-calc,” Justin lied. Clay caught on immediately. 

“I’m in that class with you; we don’t have a project,” Clay stated. Lainie raised an eyebrow. 

“Fine, it wasn’t for a project.” 

Lainie smiled as Clay chipped in, “So it was a date!” 

“No, it wasn’t a date. It was just a…thing.” 

“With who?” Clay asked. 

“Not telling you.” 

“Is it Emily, you know the pretty junior in our chem class? She likes you,” Clay guessed, both he and Lainie intrigued by Justin’s mysterious coffee date-that-wasn’t-a-date. 

“I’m not telling you who it was,” he declared again, firmer this time. 

“That wasn’t a denial,” Clay commented. 

“Dinner!” called Matt from the kitchen. 

“Alright, alright. Go wash your hands, and leave Justin alone,” Lainie ordered and Clay winked at Justin and went off to the powder room. Lainie gave Justin a knowing smile, _brothers, right?_ she was saying. He smiled, trying to imagine that was her way of telling him it was okay to be dating a boy. He followed her into the dining room where Matt was placing dishes on the table. 

He got through dinner with a few teases from Clay about which random girl he might have been on a date with, even though Justin insisted for the hundredth time that it wasn’t a _date_ date. Nobody seemed to believe him but Matt and Lainie ignored Clay’s comments and carried on talking about the trip Matt would be taking his students on over spring break to Iceland. Clay didn’t seem to care at all but Justin was enthralled in Matt’s descriptions of all the places they would visit: the waterfalls, the hot springs. 

When dinner was over, Justin and Clay cleared the table and loaded up the dishwasher before being released to go work on homework. Justin, far too distracted to do any such thing, picked up his phone for the first time since he had seen Alex. There was a single text from Alex. It was a link to a YouTube video titled ‘send this to your crush without context.’ In the video, somebody in a red hoodie with thick-framed sunglasses danced to the Wii theme song while spitting out text proclaiming Alex did indeed have a crush on him. It was the corniest and stupidest thing Justin had ever seen. He watched it about six times. 

_i like u too_ he texted Alex after he finally stopped repeating the video. How was he supposed to concentrate on something as irrelevant as his math homework when Alex’s smile was clouding his mind, when Alex’s presence had never really left. Justin didn’t even open his laptop to get started on his work, just waited as the little three-dot bubble disappeared, a message replacing it. 

_can’t stop thinking about u_ Alex had sent. Justin bit his lip. He hadn’t been able to think about anything other than Alex, but how was he supposed to tell him that? He started at the conversation, another three-dot bubble appeared and then a gif of a puppy with heart eyes showed up in its place. 

_almost as cute as u_ Justin typed before reconsidering it, deleting it, and typing an emoji instead. But a heart was still pretty forward, he deleted it. He left the message blank for a few minutes, setting his phone down to think. Before he could come up with something clever, his phone chimed and he saw a new message from Alex. 

It was a picture of Alex’s English paper with rips along the edges captioned _do u think mr h will believe my dog ate this?_

_u don’t have a dog_

_what he doesn’t kno won’t hurt him;)_ Justin laughed, the conversation feeling more normal, feeling more comfortable. They texted a little bit more before Justin saw it was already eight thirty and he hadn’t started any homework. Alex, apparently, had gotten everything done but the second half of his English paper –hence the fake dog bites. He said goodnight first and Alex sent him a some of the sleeping emojis. Justin powered through his homework as quickly as he could so that he would be able to crawl into bed and dream about Alex.

* * *

Alex noticed a big difference in Justin since their almost date, really since they had hooked up. He knew that Justin like to put on an act at school, something he had always done to fit in –to not be the sad, abused, poor kid with a junkie mom. Alex understood it, he had been that way with his dad for a long time. 

But Justin had been sharing his real self with Alex for a while now, so he was familiar with that Justin too. This Justin, though, this shy, insecure boy he was texting was a whole different person. Alex could feel the difference in their conversations, in their interactions at school. Justin was so quiet; had a hard time looking him in the eyes; always waited for Alex to speak first. Alex had never seen him like this before, didn’t understand it, it worried him. 

He wondered if Justin had only agreed to date him because he felt bad, or maybe he was so deep in his own closet that this is what dating Justin would be like for a while. Alex tried not to let his own insecurity alter his judgment, tried to just pay closer attention to Justin so he could understand why Justin was acting so timidly. Maybe _this_ Justin was simply the realest version of Justin. Alex hoped that it wasn’t, hoped that Justin’s confidence in himself wasn’t so low. 

For the time being, Alex was happy to step up and make the first move, take hold Justin’s hand, plan their dates. It felt really good to take care of somebody for once. Ever since his suicide attempt, people had walked on eggshells around him, babied him. It felt good to have somebody in his life who wanted him to take charge. So, he texted Justin first, approached Justin at his locker, and came up with a plan for Friday night. He rented a critically acclaimed movie from Amazon and popped a large bowl of popcorn, gathering the softest blankets he could find and set them down on the couch in the living room. He wanted to light a few candles but wasn’t sure if it would be too much. The last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm Justin. 

The doorbell rang and Alex rushed to the front door, eager to see finally see Justin again, to be allowed to touch him again. He opened the door. 

“Hi Justin… and Clay,” Alex greeted confusedly. Justin gave him a look, an exhausted and apologetic look. Clay grinned obliviously. 

“Justin told me you were having a movie night and Sheri’s out of town so…,” Clay trailed off, already making his way into the room. Justin lingered back with Alex as Clay happily made himself comfortable on the couch. Alex was especially glad he had decided against the candles. 

“I’m sorry,” Justin whispered. “He asked if he could come and I couldn’t really come up with a believable reason he couldn’t. I’m sorry.” Alex glanced over to the living room and, when he was sure Clay wasn’t paying them any attention, pressed a quick kiss to Justin’s forehead. A smile finally graced Justin’s face. He always looked so innocent when he smiled, so blissfully happy when he allowed Alex to see his real smile. It was a rarity and Alex cherished it. He wanted to take Justin’s hand but that wasn’t going to be okay tonight. Instead, he guided Justin through the door and went to grab the popcorn while the Jensen brothers made themselves comfortable on the couch. 

Unfortunately, Clay had taken it upon himself to save the middle of the couch so Alex felt even more separated from Justin. It was a ridiculous situation, Alex realized. That as much as they stressed about privacy, about being alone –they would never be alone. Alex hoped it wasn’t a bad omen for their relationship and just a funny story they would tell people one day. Clay would probably be so embarrassed if he knew what he was doing. But he was so painfully oblivious, laughing and grabbing handfuls of popcorn. 

Alex caught himself gazing across the room to get a view of Justin laughing along to the movie, desperate to reach out and hold his hand, to wrap his arms around him. There always seemed to be something in the way.

The movie was good, but not the best. Alex had very specifically chosen a movie he knew wouldn’t be the best that way he could talk to Justin during the movie without feeling like he was missing out. He was regretting that choice more and more as the slap-stick humor dragged and dragged. The popcorn had been demolished within the first twenty minutes of the movie, all that was left in the ceramic bowl was a pile of un-popped kernels, a quiet crunch haunting the air as Clay ate them one at a time. It was truly repulsive, Alex thought, to eat un-popped popcorn kernels –it was Clay’s serial killer trait. 

When the movie had finished they talked about it for a few minutes, quickly moving on to the events of the school week: a pop quiz in econ, when Stacey Brighton and Matt Grange were caught smoking weed in the music room, when Bryce had tried to get on campus to see Chloe and Zach punched him in the face. It had been quite the week. 

“I’m tired, we should probably head out soon,” Clay suggested, kicking his feet against Justin’s. Justin looked up at Alex, hopeful. 

“I’m not tired,” Justin said. Clay rolled his eyes, groaning overdramatically to convince Justin he really wanted to leave so he could go home and most likely facetime Sheri or watch the new episode of the Bachelor with Lainie –it was both of their guilty pleasures. 

“You can crash here if you want,” Alex offered. Clay smiled contently, already getting up off the couch. 

“You sure that’s okay?” Justin asked more so to Alex but also a little bit toward Clay. Matt and Lainie weren’t very happy the last time he stayed over at Alex’s. 

“Of course,” Alex reassured. 

“I’ll tell Mom and Dad but text them this time so they don’t freak out,” Clay warned, giving two pats to Justin’s back and then said his goodbyes, heading out to the Prius before Justin could send his text. 

“So,” Alex said wiggling his eyebrows playfully, “now that we’re alone…” He let his thought fade off suggestively. With the very hint of romance brewing in the air, Justin melted into his shy, sweet mess once again. Cheeks flushed, he set his phone down on the coffee table, looking across the couch at Alex. “What do you wanna do?” 

Justin shrugged. “We could watch a movie or just talk, I don’t know.” 

“What do you wanna talk about?” Alex asked, feeling rather eager to hear what Justin was thinking as he’d been so quiet lately. He watched Justin’s eyes bounce around the room trying to escape Alex’s. Finally, they settled on a pull in the fabric of the couch, His fingers fiddled with it as he spoke. 

“I don’t know,” Justin said after a moment, shrugging. Alex sighed, he’d have to get the conversation started himself it appeared. 

“What do you think about all this? About dating a guy?” Alex asked, feeling rather brave. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little forward for a first date?” Justin asked, clearly not wanting to answer the question. 

“Okay, fair. But we’ve already had sex, so can’t we ignore proper dating etiquette laws?” 

“I think in proper dating etiquette laws we wouldn’t be allowed to date each other.”

“Just another reason to say fuck it all,” Alex declared and, feeling a bit badly for making Justin uncomfortable, changed the subject. “How has it been? Living with the Jensens, I mean.” Justin’s eyes lit up, lids flitting up so Alex got to gaze into his eyes for a quick moment. 

“They’ve been really good to me,” Justin said, smiling sheepishly. This was the Justin that Alex wanted to see all the time, the blissfully happy, blushy Justin. 

“Yeah?”

“Too good sometimes, I think,” Justin admitted. Alex wanted to tell him how stupid that was, but he stayed quiet, waited for Justin to keep going. He wanted Justin to keep talking. “Matt and Lainie are helping me apply to college.” 

“Really? That’s awesome. Where are you applying?” 

“Just some community colleges; I don’t think I can really afford to get a degree right now and I mean we all know school isn’t exactly my strong suit.” 

“Is that what you want?” 

“I guess so, yeah.” 

“I applied to UC Berkeley and University of Washington. I applied early admission so hopefully I’ll hear back before Christmas. I really want to go to U Washington so I could live in Seattle.” 

“I’ve never been.” 

“I can take you there someday. It’s such a cool city. We used to go there a lot when I was younger, when my aunt still lived in the suburbs.” 

“We never really went anywhere, but sometimes I went on vacation with the Walkers.” 

“How was that?” Alex asked, scooting a little closer to Justin, reaching his hand out. Justin slid his fingers through Alex’s. 

“It was fun, back when Bryce was still a good person.” Alex hummed, unsure if Bryce had ever really been a good person. He hadn’t lived in Crestmont long, but he had heard enough rumors about Bryce to assume he was probably a dick as a kid too. Maybe he had just been nice to Justin. 

“We could go somewhere. Just get in the car and drive.” 

“I don’t think Matt and Lainie would be too happy about me driving across the country with you,” Justin admitted, chuckling a little. Alex couldn’t help but smile at the softness of his content laugh, at the ease in his voice when he talked about them, his family. 

“With me? Why? Because I’m such a rebellious and dangerous teen?” Alex asked, a sarcastic tone. Justin rolled his eyes, smiling. 

“Exactly.” Alex watched as his smile slowly sunk, not unhappily just naturally, into a small grin. The moment felt so natural, so right, just being together. He leaned over a bit, stopping for a moment to cup Justin’s cheek before leaning his lips closer.

“Can I?” he asked. Justin nodded quickly and Alex laughed softly before leaning all the way in. And this kiss –by god the kiss—it was even more amazing than it had been at the party. They were sober so it was much cleaner, less sloppy. Justin was soft under Alex’s touch, but his confidence seemed to grow as the kiss deepened, His hands wandered down Alex’s back, pulling their bodies closer together. Closer. Closer. Alex felt Justin leaning back against the coach until Alex was all the way on top of him, hands daring to trail along the end of Justin’s shirt, wanting to feel his skin. 

When they came up for air the time seemed to slow down a moment, eyes finally opening to watch each other catch their breath, to study each other’s face. Alex felt a rush of desire he hadn’t felt in a long time, looking down at Justin like that. He had forgotten how good it felt to want somebody and be wanted in return. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Alex announced, Justin immediately blushing. 

“Stop.” He hid his face under his hands and Alex fell down beside him, careful not to fall off the couch or onto Justin’s skinny frame. 

“You are though,” insisted Alex turning his head to it was even closer to Justin’s. 

“You’re such a sap,” Justin observed, a sweet cheekiness in his tone. 

“What? You thought I wasn’t a sap before?” 

“Literally everything you’ve said to me has been sarcastic.” 

“Well,” Alex began, propping himself up with his elbow, other hand tending running down Justin’s cheek, tucking hair behind his ear, “I’m totally serious right now. I think you’re truly beautiful.” Justin’s eyes watched him intently, waiting for something –a just kidding, a laugh perhaps. Alex kissed one cheek, the other, his nose. 

“I’m a really fucked up person,” Justin finally said, fingers tracing imaginary patterns along Alex’s forearm. 

“You say that as if I’m not just as fucked up. I don’t care about any of it, you know that.” Justin nodded, he had to know that Alex didn’t judge him for that. 

“There’s just like a _lot_ of stuff that I just can’t really tell you and I just don’t want it to fuck this up too,” Justin admitted, tone rooted in hurt and anxiety. The wavering in his voice made Alex’s stomach clench. 

“That’s okay. It’s okay to be scared, but you don’t need to be,” Alex said firmly, as sincerely as he could manage; Justin needed to know he meant this. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” Alex let himself fall back down into the couch, face turning to meet Justin’s once again, lips finding each other, holding on tightly. 

“Not such a bad first date,” Alex said as they parted. 

Justin shook his head, “Not bad at all.” 

“God, when Clay walked in,” Alex trailed off, Justin laughing. It was already becoming a funny memory. “He really had no idea. He’s gonna be so embarrassed when we tell him someday.” Justin’s eyes went wide. 

“I don’t want him to know yet.” Alex put his hand on Justin’s arm. 

“I know. I mean a long time from now when you’re ready to tell people about us.” Justin’s gaze was blank for a moment, hesitant again. 

“I just don’t know if I can do that yet, Alex,” Justin admitted, though Alex already knew this. He wasn’t sure if Justin realized he hadn’t meant to pressure Justin when he said that. 

“Justin, I’m not asking you to tell anybody until you’re ready. I get it, it’s okay.” 

“I just can’t, though.” 

“Why not?” Justin looked away, didn’t answer him for a long time, so Alex had to ask again. “Jus, it’s okay to feel scared, but nobody is going to judge you.” 

“What if they,” Justin stopped mid-sentence, got quiet again for a moment, and then continued, “what if they found out and then they decided to undo my adoption?” 

“Seriously?” Justin shrugged, biting down on his lip. “That’s ridiculous, they love you.” 

“They love me now, but what happens if they stop?” Alex gave himself a minute to truly pick the right words to say, it was something he needed to phrase correctly because it was important and he wasn’t sure if Justin had ever heard it before. 

“People who truly love you, they’ll never stop. It’s just not how love works; love can’t just end like that. And listen, all the Jensens want is for you to be happy, and if being with a boy makes you happy they’re going to support you.” 

“Have you told your parents yet?” Justin asked; Alex wasn’t sure if he had believed Alex’s words or not. 

“Just my mom. I’m going to tell my dad this weekend though.” 

“How did she take it?” 

“She loves me, it didn’t change anything.” 

“You know it will change everything,” Justin admitted, “if I come out in school.” 

“Yeah it probably will,” Alex said. “But what does that matter? You know I’ll still be there, Clay and Zach too. The people who matter won’t care.” 

“I hear you, I’m just…scared.” Alex put his arms around Justin, pulling him against his chest. It felt so good to be so close to him, to finally get to feel Justin all over his skin, his warmth radiating. 

“That’s okay, it’s a scary thing.” 

“It’s not fair,” Justin whispered. “Why do I even have to come out?” 

“I know, it’s stupid. Straight people don’t have to make a big deal about telling everyone.” Justin nodded against his chest. 

“If I tell them, Lainie and Matt, will you come with me?” Justin asked, so quietly that Alex almost missed it at first. 

“Of course, I would love to.” He held Justin a little tighter, wishing he could keep the younger boy safely tucked away against himself, feeling loved and protected forever. 

“I think if you come with me, I think I can tell them.” 

“That’s good. Really good,” Alex praised, fingers running through Justin’s hair, twirling the short curls in between his thumb and his pointer finger. He loved how curly Justin’s hair became when it was this long. It softened him –as if he wasn’t already the softest boy to begin with. 

They stayed on the couch for a while, at peace with each other’s embrace, happy to talk about school and college and anything and everything. Around eleven Alex reminded Justin they should head upstairs to bed before Alex’s parents got home and caught them cuddling on the couch –if his dad knew that they were dating he would never allow Justin to spend the night. Which was ridiculous considering they had already slept together…in Alex’s bed. Justin agreed though, and they made their giggly way up the stairs to Alex’s bedroom. 

Alex gave Justin an extra toothbrush and pajamas to change into before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed. A few minutes later Justin appeared in the bathroom, clothes dangling off his body, Alex’s clothes. There was something truly breathtaking about seeing someone in your clothes. It was soft, it was safe, sweet. Justin grinned as he brushed his teeth, Alex grinned right back. 

They crawled into bed when they finished, snuggling up under the covers, Alex’s hand reaching for Justin’s. He tugged it, gently pulling Justin against his chest so his head could rest in the crook of Alex’s neck. 

_I think I already love you,_ Alex wanted to say. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wished Justin knew: how beautiful he was, how cared for he was, that Alex could never imagine his life without him. But all he could do to express that right now was hold him, keep him warm through the night.

* * *

Justin woke up slowly, morning light bouncing off the window pane and seeping through the curtains, glittering against Alex’s pale skin like fairy dust. Flashbacks of waking up in the same position the week prior haunted him, the anger, the regret, This time he hadn’t pulled from Alex’s grasp, this time he didn’t shy away, repressing his emotions just to spit them angrily at Alex. This time he stayed tucked against Alex, content with the steady rise and fall of Alex’s chest and the quiet snoring of breath. 

When Alex would wake and kiss him good morning, he wouldn’t reject the affection, he would welcome it –allow himself to cherish it, to get used to it. Alex had _promised_ him, promised he wasn’t going anywhere. Justin took promises very seriously; this was something Alex knew about him. So he let himself trust, let himself believe in somebody else. He let himself be held, be happy. 

There was nothing lonelier than waking up alone, Justin decided, and nothing better than waking up in the arms of someone you care about, someone you trust, someone you might even love.

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom has been sleeping on the most beautiful ship of all **justlex** lately and I figured it was my duty to add this tooth-rottingly fluffy fic to the feed just to spice up all the angst with a happy little fic about two boys learning how to be in love. Honestly, I was just feeling extra sugary today and wrote this entire fic at about one in the morning and decided to post it because it made it to 10,000 words and I managed to write a happy ending. I can't decide if I will write a follow-up chapter about their coming out to Justin's fam and their friends, so let me know if you're interested in that. This had just gotten so long already that I figured if yall were interested I would just make it a second chapter. Anyway, have a very happy day, thanks for reading :))


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